Getting Nicked By Hanlon’s Razor
A Year-End Reflection on Malice, Mistakes, and the Emotional Blood We Needlessly Spill.
Malice or Moron
It’s December 30, which means we’re all in that reflective mood where we pretend to take stock of our lives and resolve to do things better in the new year.
And once that eleven seconds has passed, our focus returns to the butt‑ugly sweater Aunt Carol thought would make the perfect gift — and whether the store will take it back.
At any rate, it’s the perfect time to talk about Hanlon’s Razor — the philosophical gem that says: “Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.”
By the way, a “razor” in philosophical terms is really just a mental shortcut to guide thinking that involves “shaving” away the most unlikely or unnecessarily complicated explanations.
For example, your Aunt Carol has just gifted you a Christmas sweater so visually atrocious it looks like it was crafted by a couple of thumbless chimpanzees on meth. Why?
Does she despise you?
Does she want people to point and laugh?
Does she want car accidents caused by distracted drivers staring at you instead of the road?
Probably not.
In fact, it’s far more likely that Aunt Carol is simply a well‑meaning woman with a heart of gold — who also happens to be colour blind and armed with a tragically impaired fashion sense.
But seriously Aunt Carol, gift receipts exist for a reason. Wrap one up with the sweater next time. Please. For the love of God.
Anyway, before you roll your eyes and assume this is just another motivational poster slogan (right next to “Hang in there!” with that kitten clinging to a bamboo pole for dear life), Hanlon’s Razor has real value as something to live your life by.
The idea is simple: most of the things that feel like personal attacks — whether in the workplace or at home — are not malevolent plots. They’re just… human error. A completely innocuous brain‑fart of the Monday morning pre‑coffee variety.
That’s it.
The Razor That Cuts Through Drama
The workplace is basically a soap opera without the glamour, the wealth, the glut of impossibly attractive people, the revolving‑doored bedrooms, or the long‑lost identical twin.
But, other than that, they’re exactly the same.
Someone forgets to CC you on an email or schedules a meeting without you, and you’re sure it’s a conspiracy to plot your downfall. Except it’s not. It’s just an oversight.
A colleague is late getting to work one morning and you think to yourself, “Where the hell is Floyd? We’ve got a meeting in three minutes, and now he’s going to be late! This is just like him!”
Meanwhile, Floyd is in the middle of a 75‑car pile up, his car is an inferno, and he is patiently waiting for paramedics to reset his dislocated shoulder.
Oh, yeah, and he was also bringing in doughnuts for your sorry, thankless ass, but now they are just a pile of incinerated ash on the melted back seat of what was his Yugo.
Now you’re stewing in anger — but for no reason. Your rage-fueled brain isn’t processing that your anger doesn’t punish Floyd — he’s blissfully unaware of your wrath. The only person your anger is punishing is you.
And this kind of self-inflicted wound isn’t just a workplace phenomenon. Your spouse forgets to take out the trash, and you think it’s a passive‑aggressive response to you not putting gas in the car. Reality check: you both just forgot.
Every time we assume malice in the absence of supporting evidence, we nick ourselves with Hanlon’s Razor.
Stupidity: The Unsung Hero of Human Culture
Here’s the truth: stupidity is the most reliable employee in any office and the most reliable guest at any family gathering. Forget “Employee of the Month” — stupidity is Employee of the Millennium, complete with a parking spot and a corner office.
Turns out, the world is crawling with dimwits gloriously unencumbered by the thought process. As George Carlin once said: “Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are stupider than that.”
And these people never take a day off:
The IT guy who accidentally nukes the company’s name and address table.
The friend who forgets your birthday.
The grandpa who thinks he’s watching a Jacques Cousteau documentary and is now trying to change the channel by pointing the remote at the aquarium.
The spouse who loads the dishwasher “wrong” and gets accused of weaponizing their ignorance.
None of these are malicious. They’re just examples of our brains tripping over their own shoelaces.
⚠️ Warning! Science Ahead! ⚠️
Hanlon’s Razor isn’t just a clever saying — it’s backed by psychology and organizational research:
Fundamental Attribution Error
People misattribute causes to explain outcomes all the time. My friend once blamed a Big Mac for the fact that he felt so awful one Sunday morning… while failing to take into account the eleven beer, six paralyzers, and three tequila shots that clearly paved the way for his hangover. We do something similar when it comes to explaining the behavior of others. We love blaming personality while downplaying the situation.
In 1977, psychologist Lee Ross coined the term “Fundamental Attribution Error” to describe our tendency to blame character flaws instead of circumstances. But the really funny thing is that we will do the exact opposite as a means to justify our own actions. For example, when someone cuts you off in traffic you might call them an “inconsiderate dink”, but excuse yourself for doing the same thing because you're "late to a meeting" that your inconsiderate dink of a boss scheduled at 7:30 AM on a Monday.
In both cases, an inconsiderate dink was involved — but, somehow, it’s never you.
Human Error in Organizations
Most corporate disasters aren’t masterminded by Bond villains. They’re just unintentional screw‑ups brought on our own shortcomings:
Brainlessness: Like when Michael came up with a “golden ticket” promotion, but hid all five 10% off coupons in boxes that were shipped to the same customer — without even a fine print safety net reading “limit one per customer”.
Ineptitude: Or the time when Kevin made an enormous pot of chili for his coworkers before unceremoniously dumping it all over the carpet and making it the office’s unofficial air freshener for months.
Negligence: Or the time when Dwight staged a fire drill so realistic that Stanley nearly had a heart attack — which, in Dwight’s mind, only confirmed the drill’s efficacy.
None of these were evil plots — just everyday human error paving the way for corporate catastrophe.
Negativity Bias
The Negativity Bias tells us our brains are wired to spotlight negative events while playing down, or even ignoring, the positive ones. It explains why every unwashed dish feels like sabotage, while a spotless kitchen barely registers. Or why an unblemished eight-year streak of exquisite bathroom etiquette is instantly expunged in the wake of a single lapse in optimal toilet seat orientation.
The Negativity Bias is proof positive that in the court of human memory, misdemeanors will always outweigh all the times you got it right.
Forgiveness in Personal and Workplace Relationships
Research shows forgiving perceived slights reduces stress and strengthens relationships. In practice, forgiveness becomes less about excusing the slight and more about releasing yourself from the strain of carrying it. Bestowing clemency upon your spouse for forgetting to water the plants is better for your blood pressure and mental health than using ChatGPT to generate a comprehensive revenge plan to carry out their annihilation.
So ask your doctor if Forgiveness™ is right for you. People using Forgiveness report feelings of peace and composure and decreased pulse rates. Side effects may include lower risk of stroke and cardiac failure, and fewer awkward conversations with police about missing persons. Forgiveness: Cheaper than therapy, easier than homicide.
These findings confirm what Hanlon’s Razor suggests: most of the cuts we feel are self‑inflicted. And if we are smart enough to push aside these entirely fabricated insults and snubs — or, better yet, to never entertain them as being genuine in the first place — our lives become happier and our relationships stay positive.
The Razor That’s Double-Edged
Hanlon’s Razor isn’t just for cubicles. It’s applicable at home too. Uncle Mel didn’t forget your birthday because he hates you; he forgot because forgetting things is the only thing he excels at. Your teenager didn’t ignore your text because they’re plotting a rebellion against you; their phone battery was dead, just as was their motivation to find a charger.
Assuming that the people in your life are vindictive corrodes relationships. Assuming they’re boneheads preserves them.
Yes, you read that correctly. Better relationships begin under the presumption that the other people in your life are about as sharp as a sock full of soup.
And when it comes to betting on stupidity over spite, two things are true:
A. Some of you will embrace this instantly, because you’ve long suspected your family, friends and coworkers are already running a little on the dim side.
2. They will be thinking the same thing about you.
So, yeah, this particular razor cuts both ways. The takeaway here is that when your spouse gives you a sidelong glance for forgetting the mail, remember: it’s less about your mistake and more about their eagerness to see the worst in you.
It’s not you. It’s them.
New Year, New Bandwidth
So here we are, December 30. The year is ending, the fruitcake has fulfilled its destiny as a doorstop, Uncle Mel has shown up for dinner without any pants on, and the grudges at work and home are still simmering.
So consider this your electronically-delivered invitation: start the new year with less baggage and more bandwidth.
We have an uncanny knack for fabricating slights from the thinnest of air and the need to be a victim.
So assume naivety over nastiness. Assume stupidity over spite. Assuming malice isn’t just inaccurate — it’s exhausting. Shouldering the weight of animosity is like paying emotional taxes with zero chance of a refund.
Think of grudges as emotional clutter. Every time you chalk things up to evil intentions, you add another box to the pile. And before long, your mental office is as overwhelmed as the dumpster behind a university dorm after move‑out week.
Instead, treat your grudges like that brand‑new ultra‑strong 22‑character password Instagram forced you to create — and forget them instantly.
In 2026, you deserve to spend your energy on creativity, kindness, and maybe even enjoying your life. Every time you get butt-hurt over something, take a deep breath and remind yourself that stupidity — and not sabotage — is probably at play.
So stop being disgruntled.
Be gruntled instead. And, yes, gruntled is a word.
And if you need a mantra to carry into January, consider this: “Anger is the punishment we give ourselves for someone else’s mistake.” Every time we assume malice, we nick ourselves with Hanlon’s Razor and bleed energy we could have spent elsewhere.
The Final Cut: Closing Reflection
Hanlon’s Razor is more than a clever saying. It’s a mental model that cuts through drama — whether in the office or at the dinner table. The science is clear: it all shows that assuming malice is bad for your health, your productivity, and your relationships.
So as the calendar flips, here’s a New Year’s resolution worth keeping: stop nicking yourself with Hanlon’s Razor. Stop bleeding energy over innocent errors and misjudgements that weren’t meant to wound you.
There’s a pretty high probability that your friends, coworkers, and your spouse are simply operating at the sharpness level of soup in a sock. Figure this out, forgive freely, and keep your emotional skin unscathed.
No nicks. No scars. Just bandwidth for better things.
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